He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think I am morally bankrupt
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
