oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
