you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
