You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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