dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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