He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
