he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
