hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize