What a fucking waste of an outfit
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
