What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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