moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
