And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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