My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize