couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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