I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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