I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
