the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
