My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
