If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
