Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
