Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
