This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
