So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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