You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
