Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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