I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
