I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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