There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
