Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
