why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
