is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
