I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
