so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
