I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
