I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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