Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
