So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize