i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
