...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
