butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
