She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
