NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
