You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
