rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have already put on my inside pants.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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