I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
