PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
