is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This house was built for laser tag.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
