fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
