fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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