He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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