dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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