I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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