At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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