Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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