i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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