That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You are a genius and a whore.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
