I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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