guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
