Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
