Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
