She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
