I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
accomplished twins. life is a go
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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